we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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