It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
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aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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