I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
