Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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