Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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