I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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