nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
two words: eviction party
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
