I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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