the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
