Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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