Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
