I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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