Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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