Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
