two words: eviction party
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
