Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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