i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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