I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
