So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
