I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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