Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize