sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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