Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
