My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
