She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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