Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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