Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
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