I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
