and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
