I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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