What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
