I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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