He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
