You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
