woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
