how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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