I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
