Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
