we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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