I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Let the clothes fall where they may.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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