Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
