just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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