He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
