I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
ttyl tear gas
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
