when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
