The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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