My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
