she woke up with a sticky ear
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
