you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
