She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
