Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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