Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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