Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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