No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
