sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
