We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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