oh god the rape fog is back!
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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