Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
