He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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