Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
The beer is more important than you right now.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
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