i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
