You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
