We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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