Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm sobbing to NWA
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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