Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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