I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
