i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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