I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
