apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
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So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
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the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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