I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
