Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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